Sweet and Lovely

I did not want to go. Labor Day weekend was coming up and plans were being made. "But you have to go!" says my daughter. My argument was sound. I had just started the first semester of graduate school and I had assignments due, so taking the whole weekend off to go to the beach seemed outrageously frivolous. I had my first paper due the following Tuesday. Her urgency and tone were clues that something else was up. When I discussed it with Terry, he seemed unconcerned and wanted me to lighten up about school. After all it is just the beginning of the semester. I am not sure anyone really appreciated then or even appreciates now, how truly scared I am about being able to handle the rigor of academic study. It has been 32 years since I was in college.

I did earn three certifications through my Montessori career in order to teach children ages 3-12 in that educational paradigm. But those courses of study were mastery level, in that we learned what we needed to know, and if we learned it, we earned it and there were no grades. One either passed or failed. Even that is not quite true, because there was always the opportunity to revisit what you had not quite mastered and show that you had learned it, so the only true failure would be if you gave up and decided to fail. This is not the case in university graduate school. There are reading assignments, periodic tests, quizes, due dates, participation grades, research papers, midterms and finals, all of which are part of your final GRADE. How you perform on these various evaluations determines how well you do. Sure, I am old enough and secure enough to know that my grade does not equate my self worth, but I am taking out loans to acquire knowledge and a skill set to begin a new career and I am not going to take it lightly. So I really was not enthusiastic about going to the beach for three days at all.

Then I found out the real reason for the trip and my perspective altered. It was not just another three days at the beach, but three days to celebrate my daughter's commitment to the special person in her life. A ceremonial act of joining two people in a common bond of love. It was not unexpected in the long run that these two young people that I care about would decide to make this kind of commitment. I was surprised at the timing, the pressing need, and the private nature of its unfoldment. On many levels it provided a wake up call for my responsibilities as a parent, a friend, a wife and yes, to a lesser degree, a student. The trip fulfilled its purpose as I fulfilled my role as both mother and a student of life's passages.

Circles

by Hafiz

The moon is most happy

When it is full.

And the sun always looks

Like a perfectly minted gold coin

That was just Polished

And placed in flight

By the Universe's playful Kiss.

And so many varieties of fruit

Hang plump and round 

From branches that seem like a Sculptor's hands.

I see the beautiful curve of a pregnant belly

Shaped by a soul within,

And the earth itself,

And the planets and the Spheres-

I have gotten the hint:

There is something about circles

The Beloved likes.

Dear Ones,

Within the Circle of a Perfect One

There is an Infinite Community

of Light.



The joy of drawing a labyrinth in the sand and witnessing Krista, Tommy, and Colton walk together, with Tommy leading them in and Krista leading them out, as I recited the Hafiz poem as a blessing, is in my heart forever. And so it is.