A Mothering Rant

As the day wanes, on this Mother's Day, excuse my spur of the moment, heart driven, rant about mothering. It is at best a job filled with joy and discovery. Seeing your children grow, develop and learn new things give many moments of  satisfaction. Of late I have conversations with my grown children, hearing values and lessons they have learned by example. Oh, it is true what "they" say, actions speak louder than words. Children learn what they live. I can only hope they glean the best I had to offer and forgive the rest.

Krista and Lauryn in younger days

Baby Jacob

All three of my children are adults now and beginning separate lives with loved ones or in communities of peers. Out of the nest so to speak. I miss them and look forward to calls and visits. I do my best to keep judgement out of the mix, but it is difficult to stop the parent child dynamic and relate as friends...equals. I like to believe my life experience has some value, and in the form of guidance or counsel, it is freely given and may be accpeted or rejected without loss of love. Unconditional love. I think I experience that with my parents. Both of my parents are still living and are on their own still, but I can see a time when they will need help and I want to be able to give back that unconditional love I grew to depend on as I matured. Mothering is a delicate job, being supportive and caring while allowing room for independence.

My mother-in-love, Dorothy Menard

My mother, Evelyn, and me

I am fortunate to have had two mothers in my life. My own dear birth mother and my mother-in-love, Dorothy Menard, who was a dear friend. My mother who is always there to support me and continues to be important in my life. And Dorothy, who always made me feel as if I were her own daughter, not simply her daughter-in-law. What I remember most about her is she let love lead the way in her life. It was as if the more she freely expressed who she was, she blessed others and had those blessings flow back to her. She gently mothered her brood, giving all, her unconditional love. Dorothy is lovingly remembered on this day as is my mother, Evelyn.

So what is my motherly counsel on this day?

•  Live authentically. Be happy for no reason.

• Stop finding fault, as no person or event determines the shape of your life unless you allow it. Don't give away your power by seeing yourself as a victim.

• Simplify. Clear the clutter in your life. Make room for openings and surround yourself with uplifting people.

• Be selfish. Translation; selfishness is really about being yourself so fully that you are able to share yourself fully with others.

• Integrate and heal. Let go of guilt, pain, anger or unworthiness. Know you are enough.

• Cultivate compassion. Expand your world and see the oneness of all life.

• Surrender and "hand over the keys" so to speak and allow spirit within you, the intelligent, powerful creative being you truly are guide you, knowing where ever you are in this moment is perfect. 

Allow your heart to speak. Happy Mother's Day.